today is monday.

yup my off day lor.

kinda bored leh.

no one date me out.

seems like no one is free.

staying home whole will only increase my laziness and piggyness.

eat more and slp more.

-_-

online surf net only can do those limited stuffs.

post blog.

read blog.

check mail.

friendster.

wat else can i do online?

and im not the kind of playing online game.

wah.

sian ah!!

someone save me pls!!

haa.

im not worrying abt my next monday.

coz i already had a date with u.

u are finally FREE~!!

hee.

all the best wor!!

(:

haiya.

see lah.

wat the hell i wan?!

work i say tired.

nv work i sae sian.

anyone can just tell me wat shld i do.

hais.

i miss you.

one more week has ended.

time really flies.

tmr is the month of may le.

really getting older and older each day.

but do i look TAT old?

i got 1 regular customer who asked me am i married.

how many kids i have.

is like...

WAT THE HELL LOR~!!

well is alright tat she sae i looked married or wat.

but her second qns real SHOCKED me like nobody business.

'HOW MANY' kids i have?!

wah~

feel like fainting in my lobby at tat point of time man.

lucky she is one of our regulars.

lucky she is a pregnant mother.

if not i dunno wat will i do to her.

haa no lah.

im not tat bad.

im a good girl.

-_-

well anyway.

jun was telling me tat if i got the chance to be promoted to SAE.

i might as well go for it and try.

yup think i will if i really got the chance.

(:

i received letter form nyp saying abt my graduation ceremony.

kinda excited like tat leh.

lol.

its on 5july 1pm.

wana come and see me wear the graduation suit?

all come leh!!

think will be fun man.

haa.

but think will be sad too.

hmm maybe not sad.

more towards touching ba.

will i be crying on tat say?

hmm reminds me of bartley graduation.

still no letter from ntu and nus.

no more hopes?

waiting for rejection letter?

just wait and see ba.

although the time we spent together is less.

we will still feel the love for each other at all times.

we will still hold our hands together to complete the journey of our life.

i promise i will be a good girlfriend k?

(:

well as wat had happened to me during the past week.

i felt tat the past week is a disaster week for me.

as a new week had begins 4hrs ago.

wish me all the best in the new week ba.

i wana be happy.

surprizes hopes and wishes come true can?

den i can be the most xing fu girl liao.

=P

27 april 2007 'suppose' to be a day tat im looking forward since 15 march.

coz i had been going ard and telling ppl tat im going for a 4hr cruise with my company.

yup finally there is a STAR outing since 5 to 8yrs ago.

during these 6weeks and 1 day i had been so damn excited abt it.

i had already said 'suppose' to be a happy one.

but somehow i brought my worryness and sadness up to the cruise.

i still managed to enjoyed myself.

with the funnie emcee.

with the fun games.

with the funniest entertainment shows by our business managers.

with the buffet although i only had 1 round of food coz just dont feel like eating.

with the dance floor disco.

with 1 glass of white wine.

with 10mins of karaoke.

the most impt 1 is the graduation ceremony.

yup.

we all STARs had graduated from level 1.

we got our class photo.

we got our certificate.

we got our pin.

we saw our new uniform.

kinda cool.

another thing tat im looking forward now.

yup.

really thank all of our SAEs.

bosses.

business managers.

business consultants.

and whoever put in the effort, time, , money, countless proposals and bla bla bla.

to let us shine.

to let us enjoy thoroughly during the 4hrs.

without them putting in all these.

we are just NOTHING.

yup.

reallie thank from my bottom of my heart.

(:

aft the cruise.

went home with irene.

ya.

she just live few block away from mine.

she is the event manager.

so wat so ever event she is the one who plan it.

including of cruise outing.

hmm.

had a sort of 'heart-to-heart' talk with her.

like im talking to my boss.

kinda stress.

but told her watever is in my heart.

watever i think of.

ya.

felt much more better.

aft the talk with her.

i really found out tat i so love my store.

everything will think for my store.

nv think for myself.

hais.

actually is a bad thing.

to get promoted to SAE is not a bad idea though.

but.

but..

but...

for me there is just endless of butsss...

anyway.

i will reallie demoralise if she got promoted.

although she is my good friend.

its not the matter of jealousy.

is demoralising.

well it had been abt 2mths ever since i go out supper with them.

hmm.

wat can i describe myself.

im a sensative girl who always have contrudicting feelings.

hais.

when they did not call me out i felt left out.

when they call me out this time round i felt bad.

yup.

indeed i really felt so BAD.

den i found out tat.

different status going out got different feelings.

REALLY VERY sorry tat made u felt disappointed in me.

i really dunno wat else can i do or say other then saying sorry.

im really scared.

im really fear.

im really worried.

still rmb wat i had promised u?

as wat i had said.

a promise means is a promise.

i said it out i will make sure i will do it.

if not i can go bang wall and die.

well since its over le.

no point for me to look back.

and definately im not regretting.

coz if i were to choose to regret anything.

first i will choose to regret is.

y am i here in this world?

so just stop talking abt regretting.

hais.

i so damn hope and wish tat im really thinking too much.

till now i still dont have confidence in myself too.

hais.

wat shall i do to gain more confidence in myself?

missing you is wat i will be doing every day every hr every min every sec.

yup.

its onli you.

now is 0200hrs.

and im still up.

onli i will noe the reason y.

i dunno y.

i just felt left out.

i felt alone.

hais.

i dunno they meant it or not.

i oso feel tat im being used by my friends.

hais.

i dunno lah.

mayb im over too sensative le ba.

i tend to be more sensative when im damn tired.

ya.

im damn tired now after work.

-_-

well im just a little girl who wants a little bit more attention.

i hope to see surprises.

but ended up are disappointments.

no matter wat i try to look at the bright side.

is tat a stupid act?

depends.

sometimes it is.

i will leave all the sadness aside and start a new day tmr.

tmr will be a brand new day for me.

sm:)e and be happie~!!

just off from work.

todae i worked 8hrs.

but it seems i had worked for 80hrs.

so damn tired.

dont ask me y.

i oso dunno y.

haa.

chatting with my ai ren.

missing her.

till i cant slp.

lol.

dunno she still got visit my blog or not.

ai ren must visit my blog ohh.

hee.

=p

haiya we really must meet up one day lor.

be it the 2 of us or with the rest.

hee.

missing you~

today is monday.

my off day.

tot every mon can go out and slack with friends.

but not today ba.

i had slept for 17hrs.

coz i had been awake for 44hrs.

went out to ton on sat night.

continue to work on sun without any sleep.

was so damn sleepy and tired.

i dunno i had yawn how many times when im working.

well but towards evening.

i really hope tat tat is not the way to make me stay awake.

but i think the fact it is.

hais.

thanks audrey for giving me excellent for my performance report.

resulting in an increase in my hourly rate.

thanks fred who look high on me.

willing to pay me 1.6k per month.

ya.

now hafta see how's the result of my entry to uni.

den fred will make his decision.

im really having a secured job.

im not afraid of losing job or retrench.

coz mac is always lack of employees.

haa.

my junior derrick just msn and send me their pieces they played for their syf this year.

sadly they got bronze this year.

only 16 got gold.

well im like missing those band days.

):

i really hope tat wat is mine will always be mine.

okie?

our friendship wont get apart just coz of tat.

if tat really will cause our friendship to get apart.

i wont agree to tat in the first place.

(:

5 weeks 4 days.

still counting on always.

=P

ytd night went chomp chomp with dolly and lisa.

let me list out wat the THREE(3) of us ate.

1) 2 plates of hokkien mee
2) 1 plate of Sotong
3) 1 plate of kangkong
4) 1 plate of sting ray
5) 2 pieces of chicken wing
6) 4 stick of satay
7) 1 bowl of beancurd
8) 1 plate of fried oyster
9) 1 plate of rojak
10) 2 extra large sugar cane

LOL.

=D

amazing?

haha.

aft we ate.

we frm there walked to near st. gabriel's sch.

haha.

far hor?

dunno y we can just do all those amazing stuffs.

haha!!

den we took a cab from there home.

actually wanted to walk home.

but its TOO wu loo for us to walk.

plus lisa and me work since morning.

damn tired liao.

still walk home?

think will lie flat halfway.

lol.

=D

enjoyed myself to the max with the 2 of them always.

although added ALOT of fats and calories.

=x

bosses travel in my store today.

jeffery, my market manager asked me interested to become manager or not.

its like a -DUH- qns.

if got the chance of coz i will grab lah.

well see how ba.

aft 5yrs of hardwork.

really hope to see sth different.

all these still have to go thru my restaurant manager.

my business consultant.

my business manager.

tsk tsk tsk.

stress.

-_-

hmm yup.

finally i willing to go see doctor.

mc for todae.

just slacking at home.

dunno wat to do.

tats y i dont reallie like to stay at home.

its just freaking boring.

i like to be outside.

at least got accompanyment.

yup as usual.

i HATE to be left ALONE.

tats me and always will be me.

ur heart hurts.

hey.

my heart do hurts too.

im a human.

im not cold blooded.

im not heartless.

i noe how to think.

i noe who treat me nice.

i noe who is nasty to me.

a promise means is a promise.

just go and ask ard.

i hate ppl who break promise.

unless i hate myself.

my feelings got cheated before too.

maybe not as worst as urs.

but i noe the feelings of got cheated is sux.

is like everything is ending.

i reallie feel like dying at tat point of time.

reallie thanks those who help me to overcome it.

i fell and i had learnt to get up and walk again.

i reallie dunno wat else can i prove it to u.

facta non verba.

deeds not words.

actions speaks louder than words.

yup.

we shall see.

happily in love.

hee.

=P

well.

wat can i start with?

wat will i start with?

todae is the first dae of a new week.

i had said.

i hope this week will be a great one.

so i will try my best to be happy.

everybody seems like wana gathering.

haa.

im meeting my jies on thurs.

full attendance?

i dunno.

as usual i dont care.

i will just attend when there is a gathering.

i dont wana let iris feel bad.

imagine u organise a gathering.

and damn few ppl turn up.

the feeling is sux.

well i understand how the feeling is like.

and on the other hand.

dolly kept on asking me when are gg to chomp.

lol.

ya ya.

soon soon.

we will be chomp-ing soon.

by this week k!!

hee.

=P

to take mc or not?

to see doctor or not?

my toe still hurt me like nobody's business.

if i mc tmr.

and i wont be in store on wed and thurs.

but i still got quite a number of tasks undone.

can i be less busy?

y am i so responsible?

y am i having so much passion?

my fault?

in life there is times tat we need to make important decision.

i decide to go grand opening dry run instead of nus interview.

yes im sure everybody will ask me y.

well.

i got my own reason for choosing work ba.

no matter wat will happen in the future.

i hope i wont made the wrong decision.

wish me all the best ba.

(:

anyway reallie hope tat the grand opening will be a great and fun one.

just felt glad and honoured to be 1 of the 9 of them out of total 40 of us.

reallie wanted to go to these kind of big events ages ago.

everytime im not 1 of them.

now there is chance for me.

i wont let it go.

who noes anytime or anything can be my stepping stone for my next level?

actually for me to carry on study.

is a burden to me and to my mother.

to work while study is freaking not easy.

ppl ard me can hooray hooray during weekends.

hu haa outside.

chilling with friends.

shopping at orchard.

but me?

i had been spending my 5yrs of weekends working.

just to support myself and my mother.

and my i still owe the bank a few k coz of my poly fees.

if i reallie continue to study uni.

how much money will i owe the bank?

how much time will i need to return them?

so seriously shit to think far for myself and my mother and perhaps my brother.

i reallie cant afford to study uni.

(:

i believe in this chinese saying.

'xian ku hou tian'

somehow i dont mind suffer during young age.

all i hope for is i can enjoy my life when im old.

no need to fan abt money.

coz seeing those old uncles and aunties in my store still work.

reallie feel sad for them.

i will reallie prove it to u.

(:

i dont know.

i dont know..

i dont know...

i just feel like crying.

hais.

suet ah u are over too sensitive le.

suet ah u are thinking too much.

suet ah u are abit too much.

reallie sound like me right?

yup im trying my best and trying hard to get rid of my those bad points.

the past week seems like a disaster week.

hope the coming new week will be a great one.

hope i will feel better.

(:

im reallie glad tat there is ppl out there who reallie care abt my feelings.

coz im always tot tat im the left-out child.

im just a NOBODY.

thank YOU~!!

i reallie appreciate the caring-ness tat ppl gave me.

hmm well.

to keep everything to oneself is kinda bad.

if u dont mind im willing to be ur listening ears.

anytime.

anyday.

(:

sorry to show u my pek cek-ness.

i meant no harm.

partly coz of my seriously injured toe.

if i goes to see doctor.

im sure i will get mc.

but dunno y.

i just refuse to go see doctor.

stupid?

maybe lah.

i oso dunno wat will i get for being tat hardworking.

hais.

how to describe sad?

how to describe happy?

when am i reallie sad?

when am i reallie happy?

im at home now.

blogging~

well by right i suppose not to be at home.

i shld be enjoying myself at apit's chalet.

hais but wat to do.

my mother kept on making noise tat i always stay out.

since when tat i 'always' stay out.

reallie made me fed up.

so wat jun talked to my mother ytd night.

ya still have to thanks to her coz she somehow or rather convince my mother.

but my mother oso like dont believe jun.

the worst thing is tat she dont believe.

do u noe wat is the feeling like when ur own mother dont believe her own daughter?

well perhaps u all dunno how the feeling is like.

she just dont trust me AT ALL~!!

this reallie made me real fed up and boil.

hais.

why?!

wHy?!

WhY?!

WHY?!?!

okie.

she is worried abt me.

(: